=HEALING OURSELVES

Ritual as recovery. Recovery as ritual

by Fern Levy

Ritual. Tradition. The JudeoChristian ethic. Feminist liturgy. Gay spirituality groups. Healing circles. Precious Child groups. AIDS interfaith healing services. Healing. Forgiveness. Letting go, Letting God. Recovery.

All of these, the new and the old, are rituals and belief systems we allow in our lives to support us on our different paths to recovery. We so honor ourselves that we create new and more fitting rituals for our healing journey. We so honor ourselves that we let go of what no longer works for us and seek out that which does.

Usually, we think of ritual only as traditional religious practice. The priest giving communion. The rabbi giving the benediction. Lighting candles on Friday evening at sundown. Sunday Mass. And some of these old rituals still offer some vestigial comfort, solace and a connection to what we are used to, to what is familiar and safe for us. They remind us of who we are, who we think we are or who we used to be and have not yet let go of.

Sometimes these rituals symbolize what we no longer believe or want in our lives. But we stay because we feel part of a worship community, albeit made up of strangers as we pray in a church or a temple. And we fear the emptiness without it.

For most lesbians and gays, traditional rituals no longer works. We feel too passive. It is not participative. The language excludes us as women. The beliefs exclude us as gays. We let go with great anguish. We once loved it with our hearts and souls. And with what do we replace it?

And so, we break our additive co-dependent patterns to move into recovery where we adopt a whole new set of traditions (12 to be exact). Moving out of the diseases of the past we move into wellness and healing and create in the present moment what we need and deserve. A safe place, a sacred space, to share as authentically as we are able who we were and who we are becoming.

We deserve and need to be touched with love and so we create this for ourselves through the ritual of hugging. We deserve and need support for who we are and create this for ourselves through the ritual of sponsorship. We affirm the on-going process of recovery through yearly anniversary parties.

Each meeting begins and ends the same way. There are rituals about speaking so no one is even interruped or cut off. Each person is periodically asked to tell their whole story without limits. We create ritual around traveling to meetings with friends, around having dinner before meetings or diet pop after the meeting.

These rituals are positive and enrich our lives. They are lifeenhancing and support us. We take responsibility for them and participate actively in them. We choose them freely and without coercion or shame. They are created and re-created all the time to meet our needs. These are healthy rituals that exist to build bridges to each other as we actively create a healing community for each other.

We are, indeed, healing ourselves. We are all healers for each other. So be it. ▼

DOUGLAS J. MOORE, PH.D.

CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST

(216) 663-0245

204 EUCLID SQUARE MALL EUCLID, OH 44132

Be a buddy.

DERBY BLDG., SUITE 205 5706 TURNEY ROAD GARFIELD HTS., OH 44125

WIESLER ASSOCIATES Therapy and Consultation Services

RANDY THOMAS GEARHART, M.S.S.A. Individual, Couple and Group Therapy

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References

RAY KEMSKI

HAVE YOU GOT A FEW HOURS A WEEK TO SPEND DOING SOMETHING GOOD FOR YOURSELF AND SOMEONE ELSE?

THE HEALTH ISSUES TASKFORCE BUDDIES PROGRAM NEEDS VOLUNTEERS LIKE YOU TO GIVE FRIENDLY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT AND PHYSICAL ASSISTANCE TO CLEVELANDERS WITH AIDS. JOIN THE BUDDIES PROGRAM CALL:

Health Issues Taskforce

O.F C.L-E-V-E-L•A•N•D

621-0766

Health Issues Taskforce

O.F C.L.E-V.E.L.A.N.D

(Editor's Note: This space has been donated to the Health Issues Task Force by the Chronicle. In no way do the opinions expressed here reflect those of the Chronicle's staff or management.)

COUNSELING SERVICE announces two new support groups for people with AIDS, people with ARC, their lovers, families and friends. A support group for members of the black community meets every Tuesday evening and a bilingual support group for members of the Hispanic community is ready to begin meeting.

These groups join others already available for PWAS, PWARCs, people with HIV infection, lovers, families and friends, people who have lost a loved one to AIDS, people who offer direct care to people within the HIV spectrum, and anyone else whose life has been touched by the HIV epidemic.

All support groups are free and confidential. Call HIT at 621-0766 if you would like to join a group. HIT also offers individual conseling on these and other AIDS-related

concerns.

An ART THERAPY program for people with AIDS or ARC will be starting soon. Meeting times and frequency will be determined by members of the program. Call HIT for more information.

As the temperature continues to drop, remember the walk-in clothing center at the HIT office. The center is

open to people within the HIV spectrum. There are plenty of winter clothes, other winter supplies and household items.

Minority Outreach Coordinator Walta DeLemos-Brown and other HIT members attended the Ohio Department of Health's Conference on AIDS in Ohio's Black and Hispanic Communities in Dayton in midOctober.

Almost every gay bar and club in Cleveland sent staff to the bartender safer sex training program COsponsored by ODH and HIT Oct. 15. When you see them in their snappy new T-shirts, ask them!

OK guys! It's getting colder, and the season for home entertaining is upon us. But if you invite your friends over to watch Big Business one more time, they're gonna throw the VCR out the window. What to do? Why not host a HIT SAFER SEX HOUSE PARTY? Enjoy an evening of games and demonstrations about safer sex (along with tasteful parting gifts for everyone). For more information, call 621-0766. We promise not to get KY on the Oriental.

Although the Taskforce is not a participating agency of the United Way, we are eligible for designations. You must write in "Health Issues Taskforce of Cleveland" on your United Way pledge card. HIT doesn't receive a list of such contributors, but your support is appreciated.

333 In the Kitchen with Auntie Ray

There once was a man named Tom, whose body parts were quite long. When asked the reason why, He said it was owed to a Try of Tom's Terrific Trifle.

1 Angel Food Cake

1 32oz. Tub of Cool Whip.

2 cups of Strawberries or Raspberries 1 Cup Rose' (Wine) or Fruit Juice

In a Bowl (Glass preferred) place an even layer of Angel Food Cake torn into pieces. Paint or sprinkle with the Wine or Fruit Juice. Next put a layer of Fruit, followed by a layer of Cool Whip. Repeat until the bowl is full. Garnish with a small amount of Fruit.▼